Ed Shows

I beat my record!! Yes!! Victory is mine! They said it couldn't be done. All right, no one said that. Anyway here's the blog for this landmark occasion:

I have be entertaining myself with Edinburgh show names I will never do.

The first one is:

‘Take My Wife’s Cheese’

That is a show about cheese, and also a play on words from the old Bernard Manning style of joke-telling about taking someone’s wife literally away, instead of just taking her as an example of something. It works on almost two levels, and could vaguely be considered a satirical point about something. Depending on how much of the show was actually about cheese. I don’t have very strong feelings about cheese, so I don’t think I am the person to do such a show.

The second show name idea is:

‘Sisters Were Doing It For Themselves, But Have Now Gone Back To Just Getting Their Tits Out Again.’

That is a show about the rise and fall of feminism, and how today women almost seem to be being objectified more than they were in the 80’s and 90’s. It has a bit of a serious tone, and might just be me on stage crying for an hour because I don’t have a place in the world. Which some might say, further negates feminism.

Next we have:

‘Brave Fart’

This is a show about farting, seen through the eyes of a Scottish Warrior who was more middle class then he wanted to let on. (Kind of like when James Blunt uses incorrect grammar in his songs). Plus it’s about farting, which is one of the funniest things that could possibly happen so it can’t fail to attract punters. Also it’s a metaphor for my stand up career, because when I come off stage, sometimes strangers don’t tell me I am good, they tell me I am ‘brave.’

Then there’s:

‘The Services On the M1 Lied And Said They Had The Internet When They Didn’t’

This is a deeply personal show, about an incident that happened very recently, in fact it is still happening as I write this (into a word document) when I have literally a matter of hours to publish my final blog this month to beat my record. I mean, admittedly it’s no Eddy Izzard’s 43 Marathons in 51 days, but interestingly it does expose him to be a robot for managing to do that, in a surprise twist at the end of the show.

Then who could forget:

‘Neurotica’

This is a show about being neurotic but still liking sex, even if it means you sometimes say the wrong thing – with hilarious consequences. It’s kind of like Woody Allen meets Uma Thurman (who I definitely look like – not just to very drunk people). Conveniently I do actually have a few routines about making sex more awkward than it necessarily needs to be, but I don’t have the balls to actually call a show that in case it attracts a crowd that ultimately feel mislead and heckle with ‘get your tits out.’ To vent how they feel about the misinformation.

And then finally:

‘Don’t Believe The Hype’

This is a show which is a stunt in itself. I will do absolutely no PR, thus making the name of the show intrinsically hilarious. No one has done that…