Pandemic

I was in Hamleys today (because I'm young at heart) (not because I'm immature and miss the fun I had as a child) and anyway, I didn't even have that much fun as a child. I was one of those oddball types. Anway, getting off the point.

The point is this. I was in Hamleys, being irritated by the obnoxious, loud, exhibitionism-obsessed, out-of-work-actors that masquerade as helpers that don't let you shop in peace - and keep trying to get your attention by throwing loud toys at you - like children would.

Why is it that when you want help in a shop, no one helps you, but when you don't the opposite happens? Sounds like there could be an observational stand up routine in that. This is my new joke: have you ever noticed that sometimes when you want something to happen, the opposite of the thing you wanted to happen, happens?

Well. Observational comedy isn't as easy as it looks. And looks EASY.

Anyway anyway anyway.

The point is this:

I was in Hamleys, looking at the board games. And in amongst the Guess Who? and the Pictionary, I saw a game called 'Pandemic'

I am totally serious. Google it if you don't believe me. I'm not googling it and providing a link because I have already seen it and this blog has already taken longer than it was meant to (look how easily I can get off the point)

Anyway this is the blurb on the back of the box for the board game Pandemic:

(I sat down and copied it out while in the shop because I couldn't believe it)

It says:

"PANDEMIC

You and your companions are highly skilled members of a disease-fighting team waging a battle against four deadly diseases. Your team will travel across the globe, stemming the tide of infection and developing the resources you'll need to discover the cures. You must work together, using your individual strengths to destroy the diseases before they overtake the world. The clock is ticking as outbreaks and epidemics accelerate the spread of the plague.

Will you find the cures in time?

The fate of humanity is in your hands!"

There you go kids. Have fun!

I sort of feel this game has been developed so that children who favour science get to feel like heroes too. It's normally only the FBI and Bruce Willis that get to do such things. This game wants you to brew potions for cures to save the world, instead of punching out Alan Rickman. It's like this game is saying 'come on nerdy scientists - you can do it too - we've made a weird and slightly threatening game just for you!'

But I also feel that the creators of this game may have been quite influenced by the threats of the norovirus and swine flu. I think they definitely got the idea for it after that anyway.

I told my comedy associate Hannah George about it, and she said that after swine flu, maybe the government agencies that allowed the game to be made started recalling them, and saying 'Right, what have you got? What did you come up with?' to the budding scientists.

I like this idea a lot. I love the idea that our government is so inept that we would be turning to 10 year olds to help fix things.

And maybe that is what has happened.

Maybe.